But first she must change herself.

How can you become a woman who attracts:

  • the right partner,
  • the right opportunities,
  • and the right circle of influence that makes change possible?

I seriously pondered this question as I reflected on life after two broken relationships and a roller-coaster ride of unfortunate events. It was pivotal for me to learn that I’m not defined by those events.

My journey has taught me that I’m an imperfect being who is molded by the lessons life throws my way. One thing is certain in this life – there’ll always be curveballs. But, it’s how you position yourself to hit a home run that makes the difference.

There were a lot of things I had to change about myself before I could become the woman I am today. As Julius Caesar once said, “I came. I saw. I conquered.”

I came into a new understanding and appreciation of who I am.

I saw myself as more than a title (mom, entrepreneur, wife, divorcee) and began to measure myself against my core values, passions, and beautiful uniqueness. As Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

I conquered my demons.

My self-discovery journey was a six-part process that somehow occurred simultaneously throughout various stages of my life. I describe these processes in greater detail in my book Flying Solo – BE-YOU-TIFUL. You’re getting a sneak peek in this blog post.

I Became My Best Friend

A big part of my self-discovery journey was learning how to enjoy my own company and essentially become my own best friend. I took time for myself after my six year relationship ended and I loved it!

I understood that if I wanted a substantial relationship with the right man, I had to take the time to get to know myself. At least one day per week was set aside for “me time”. I took myself out on dates, went to the movies alone, and experienced many adventures in the comfort of my own company. This experience helped me get a better sense of who I am, what I want, and the BS I’m unwilling to accept.

A Major Mindset Shift

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy is a book that literally changed my life. I read it and thought, “Finally! There’s someone who thinks like me!” It’s a book I highly recommend if you’re ready to improve your life.

The general thesis of the book that truly resonated with me was Murphy’s detailed explanation of channeled energy. He explains that you manifest whatever you channel your energy to manifest. In other words, what you think is what you become.

That was a major part of what helped me claw out of the negative situations I’ve faced. I chose in every moment to focus on the positives because harboring negative thoughts deterred me from my goals and trust me, there was a lot for me to be negative about.

But, that mindset shift has played an instrumental role in me making my way to the top. The way I think helps me forge positive relationships, inspire people, and receive more opportunities.

Drowning Out the Noise Brought Clarity

I’ve learned that few people will initially see my vision and that’s okay! There have been so many naysayers throughout my life who’ve thought that I was completely crazy for making certain decisions. I don’t listen to them. Instead, I drown out their noise and focus on my truth.

Pajamas and a Purpose is a great example of this. People never really started taking this charity idea seriously until I was featured on a major television network in a television interview. Initially, they scoffed at the idea. It was too crazy, too out-of-the-box…there’s no way it could work.

But, it has worked beautifully. We’ve touched the lives of over 15,000 women and girls across the United States (U.S.) so far and we continue to grow. To find out more about this organization click the link above.

There were several other experiences like this that taught me the value of surrounding myself with the right people. My inner circle is filled with family and friends who provide constructive criticism while supporting my dreams and I do the same for them. You can’t change the world with the wrong inner circle.

Strategic Goal Setting Yielded Results

Goal-setting can sometimes seem like an elusive process. It really isn’t when you take baby steps. I could barely get out of bed in the months that followed my divorce and the only reason I actually got up was to take care of the kids.

Three months passed and the pattern remained. I would wake up, take care of the kids, then go back into the dark bedroom and wrap up in bed. One day, I decided that I’d had enough. It was time for me to get up and do something.

I knew that I wanted to actively pursue a new business venture. But, looking at that big goal was intimidating for me. Instead, I broke that big goal into tiny steps with the first being creating a URL. That was it…just create a URL.

So, I accomplished that tiny goal in one day and that pumped me up even more to tackle other goals in the days that followed. The key was to focus on one thing that I needed to do that day to make the day feel like a success for me. This strategy led to my Post It Wall technique which I discuss in my book Flying Solo – Passion to Profit.

I Invested In Myself

The only way you can give to others is if you first give enough to yourself. I invested a lot in my education so that I could help my business grow. Event planning is an unregulated industry where it’s often difficult to separate the average from the best. It was also a field I knew little about because my entrepreneurship experience was limited to my mom’s salon and my dad’s restaurant.

So, I figured the best way to differentiate myself was to invest in event planning education and relevant certifications. How I accomplished this is also described in my book Flying Solo – Passion to Profit. What I want you to understand is that this investment paid off big time.

My qualifications helped me get a foot into the door of many major event planning projects. I’m now viewed as one of the top event planners in the U.S. because of the experiences my qualifications have given me.

Don’t wait on someone else to invest in you. Invest in short courses, certifications, or degree programs that will help you become better at what you do.

My Network Improved My Net Worth

Investing in myself greatly improved my confidence and that was a big part of me discovering how to change myself so that I could change the world. Greater confidence inspired me to become more actively involved in associations that helped me connect with some of the best event professionals in the industry.

And that’s the thing. If you truly want to change the world and make a huge impact, you have to take networking seriously. It’s more than exchanging some business cards and sending a few emails. True networking is about building connections. I know this first-hand because my connections helped propel my business to the next level. They also helped me pivot during COVID-19. I discuss this some more in Flying Solo.

Final Words

Your ability to change the world lies within you. You can find the right partner, opportunities, and circle of influence if you start with becoming your best friend. Love and appreciate your own company. Experience new things so that you can learn more about your likes and dislikes. Embrace who you are so that you know what you want.

Reaching bestfriend status then leads to a mindset shift. Remember, positive thoughts create the energy you need to accomplish your goals. They also help you drown out the noise and build the right inner circle.

Finally, taking baby steps with your goals make the bigger goals easier to attain. Also, invest in yourself and experience more networking opportunities. All these things coalesce into the best solution for helping you change yourself so that you can change the world.

What are some goals that you are trying to achieve to better yourself? Let me know by leaving the comment below.

Written By: Carline Beaubrun Photo Credit: Eli Joseph


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