You’re a boss
Discovering You Are Born to Lead.
I’ve always been different.
But, being different meant people never understood me.
My family and friends would often say they didn’t know how to introduce me to others because I do so many things. “We don’t know what you do Carline,” was something they frequently said.
Classmates would scoff at my creativity in high school
My ex-husband often threw my creativity in my face.
I often wondered if something was wrong with me because it seemed like no one understood me.
No one understood my desire to pursue multiple passions.
No one understood why I couldn’t settle on one profession.
No one understood why my mind was always brimming with ideas.
But, I made a breakthrough discovery recently that helped me uncover the depth of who I am.
I’m a multipotentialite.
An exciting, super passionate, growth-oriented multipotentialite with an insatiable appetite for new knowledge and experiences.
This discovery helped me better appreciate and accept who I am – a woman born to lead and a catalyst for change in this world.
Do you often feel like an outsider? You may very well be but that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve great things.
Own Who You Are
I had to take ownership of my uniqueness and realize I wasn’t like everyone else. I’m a creative and multipotentialite who sees things differently. Numerous possibilities always run through my mind which makes it difficult for me to see things as impossible. Many people can’t see what I see and how I can make the seemingly impossible become possible.
Owning who I am helped me better communicate with others. I was able to move with confidence despite often feeling like I always had to be on the defensive. Growing up, my parents questioned who I was and everything I did. I often felt like I had to be on the defensive with them, especially with my dad. That behavior carried on into my adult years.
Regardless, I learned that being defensive leads to a dead end. The only real solution is to take ownership of who I am and embrace what I feel I’m called to do. That’s how I can confidently move forward like a boss. I no longer felt like I had to explain myself to anyone.
You can learn more about how I truly discovered myself in my Flying Solo series. Each book in the series unravels an aspect of my journey.
Find Your Community
There will be different groups of people in your life. A lot of my friends and family members can’t relate to what I do as a serial entrepreneur.
As an event designer I needed to find a community of event industry professionals who spoke my language. I can talk to these people about event planning and design, but I can’t have the same conversations with my family.
Some of these communities included:
- The International Live Events Association
- Association of Bridal Consultants
- Young Event Professionals
- Black Wedding and Event Professionals Association
I also joined the International Association of Women and Female Quotient Network as a business woman. They’re amazing networks to join because I could speak with members about business solutions, network, learn from them, participate in business lunches, and get support along my business journey.
The Mocha Moms is another community I joined to support my needs as a mom. It’s a community of mothers who encourage building friendships. It was nice to talk to other mothers, go on outings together, and bond.
I’m also hoping to find a community of multipotentialites that I can join. Surrounding myself with like-minded people has always been a big confidence booster! Do you know any multipotentialite communities? Let me know in the comments below.
My biggest tip if you’re considering joining a community is to get involved as much as possible. It’s through being actively involved that I reaped many of the benefits described. I was also awarded for my contributions which made me feel appreciated and more welcomed in the community.
Spend Time With Yourself
Spend time with yourself so that you can better appreciate what makes you unique. It’s okay to treat yourself to a nice meal every once in a while, have a spa day, go to the movies, or just do whatever you love alone.
You’ll better understand yourself. Better understanding who you are will help boost your confidence. As Marcus Garvey once said, “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won before you started.” Your confidence will help you become the champion in your life’s race.
Know Your Leadership Style
Also, you should spend some time understanding your leadership style. Sure, your leadership style will change depending on your team and the stage of business growth. But, your core leadership style remains constant. There are several leadership styles but the eight most common are:
Daniel Goleman, renowned author and psychologist, conducted a three-year Harvard Business Review study that was published in 2000. The study involved 3,000 mid-level managers and revealed “that a manager’s leadership style was responsible for 30% of the company’s bottom-line profitability.”
Sure, that was over a decade ago. But, the truth of those results remain relevant today. Your leadership style affects many things. Being a boss doesn’t mean that you should be a manager of people. Instead, you should be a people builder, vision shaper, and solution seeker. Embrace this fact and you’ll experience greater profits and increasing opportunities.
You see, effective leadership is really about understanding people. How they think, how they work, what drives them, what makes them tick, what makes them comfortable, what helps them work well together, and the list goes on.
Bureaucratic, laissez-faire, and autocratic leaders tend not to embrace these concepts well. How they lead tends to make people not want to follow them.
This doesn’t mean you must stick to one leadership style. Your business will go through different stages of growth and experience multiple obstacles along the way. Each situation may call for a different leadership style. For instance, a startup in its infancy stage will most likely need a strategic leader but that leader may evolve into a coach-style leader as the company evolves.
You’re responsible for clearly understanding how to effectively use your preferred leadership style and how to change it throughout the business cycle. That’s the mark of a good leader.
So, what type of leader are you?
Work On Both the Interior and Exterior
Dress like a boss. There was a period of my life when I didn’t have enough money to shop for myself. My kids were my top priority so they always had the most fashionable clothes.
I decided that I needed to stop letting myself go. Each time I bought something for the kids, I’d buy at least one item I absolutely loved. That’s how I began to build a wardrobe filled with pieces that made me feel confident. I loved how I dressed because each item I wore made me feel like a boss. I’m still dressing like a boss today.
I also practiced my confidence walk and started exercising more. I would schedule time to go to my son’s school and speed walk around the track. My phone would be playing my favorite song and I would stride confidently around that track. I moved to the beat and just had a great time feeling great.
How I look on the outside isn’t the only thing that matters. My inward appearance also makes a big difference. I flipped my negative self-talk into positive affirmations. It also became my daily mission to do at least one good thing. Both behaviors helped me develop the inner strength necessary to succeed.
You’ll only truly feel like a boss when you embrace your uniqueness. You have a lot to offer the world. Don’t let naysayers and people who simply don’t understand you dim your light!
Spend time discovering who you are and surround yourself with like-minded people. Make both your exterior and interior attractive so that you can consistently walk with confidence because you are a boss!
What are some great qualities that make you a boss? Let me know in the comments below
Written By: Carline Beaubrun